Do you know about red flag people

Do You Know About Red Flag People?

How to teach your kids personal boundaries

In my work as a couples counselor, clients often confide that they are survivors of child sexual abuse. One client even told me that they’d been harboring this secret for 55 years. This person had been carrying the guilt and shame all that time!

Not surprisingly, bearing this burden alone for so many decades had led this client to harmful behaviors and a series of bad relationships.

The Effects of Abuse

When it comes to childhood sexual trauma, the damage is almost always severe. Yet too many of us are trained to minimize our abuse or think that, in some way, we deserve it.

Many years ago, I (also a survivor) taught my own young children about their bodies. I wanted to teach them:

  • What kind of touch was fine and what kind wasn’t.
  • Who were the safe people who they could allow to see them naked.
  • It’s okay to say “No!”

A book called I Said No! A Kids Guide To Keeping Private Parts Private helped me accomplish this mission. In the book, “red flag people” are not allowed to see or touch their bodies, and “green flag people” are safe.

While no book or program can guarantee to protect your children, I think it’s important to try. Please talk to your kids about their bodies and what types of touch is okay and not okay, and from whom. Empower them to avoid the years of pain that so many victims of sexual abuse feel.

Do you know about red flag people?

How To Deal With Past Trauma

If past sexual abuse is seriously affecting your marriage or relationship, please consider a two-day couples intensive therapy session with me. We will set up a 30-minute complimentary session to explore whether this type of therapy can help you heal.​