2 little words that destroy

2 Little Words That Destroy

These 2 words hurt relationships. Say this instead...

There are two little words that I see hurt relationships again and again. I ask all the couples I work with to try not to use them. Can you guess what they are?

While you’re thinking about it, I’ll tell you that you might find it hard to stop using these two words altogether. But if you can start being more mindful and avoid saying them as much as possible, I promise that over time, you’ll feel more connected to your partner.

What Are The Two Words That Destroy Relationships?

And now for the big reveal…are you ready? Drumroll please! The words are:



Who knew two little words could do such outsized damage?

Let’s say you tell your partner, “You are always on your phone.” Your partner will probably reply with something like, “You are on your phone as much as I am.”

Why did your partner reply defensively? Because the statement “You are always on your phone” is not true, and it’s also critical.

Consider these statements:

  • “You always leave your dishes in the sink.”
  • “You never support me when we’re with your parents.”
  • “You always complain. In fact, you are never happy.”

These statements are likely false and also critical.

Helpful Feedback For Your Partner

Next time you want to give your partner feedback, try using this simple 5-step process instead:

1) Say something positive

2) Briefly state what you have seen

3) Tell the story you make up about it (optional)

4) State the feeling

5) Ask clearly for what you want

Watch the video below for details on how to implement this strategy.

If this strategy worked well and you want more where it came from, consider taking my online course called “How To Heal.” For less than the price of one standard couples counseling session, I’ll walk you step-by-step through how to repair past hurts in your relationship so you can move forward with a clean slate.